Dating after a divorce with children
Rest assured, these 10 lessons can get you through the end of your marriage, both financially and emotionally.1.
It may take a long time to recover—and that's okay.
Specifically, "learn all of the online passwords to bank accounts, which accounts had automatic payments and where money is invested, including the names of all accounts, the account numbers and the investment advisors," says Newman.
Ask your attorney when and how it's best to gather this info first, though.4. Your financial well-being should be your top priority, says divorce financial expert and mediator Rosemary Frank.
Kira Brown, 34, from Phoenix, AZ, owned a business with her ex-husband and wishes she'd also hired a financial planner for help negotiating her settlement.3. According to financial analyst Sandy Arons, a divorcee herself, 40% of divorce proceedings are about money.
So get as much information as you can about your shared accounts to be well-informed before court.
"It can leave him feeling stigmatized or reinforce that the divorce is his fault," says Doares, though therapy's a good option if the behavior change is extreme.10. Annie, 47, from Boston, felt like she didn't have any talents, besides caring for her kids, before divorcing in 2007.
She now has a blog, Plenty Perfect.com, and sees new directions her life can take.
Your kids won't tell you how they really feel about the divorce, but their behavior will. So monitor your kids' actions to understand how they're dealing.
"Divorcing just means that the relationship didn't work out," she says.
"You haven't been rejected as a woman or a person, nor are you incompetent at being a wife, a partner, a lover, a friend."8. Amanda, 29, from Albuquerque, NM, was married for over six years until her divorce.
"Anything written online about an ex-spouse will exist forever—when the children are old enough to read," cautions Newman.7.
Being divorced doesn't mean you're a failure, less competent or less desirable.